Beanz Meanz Jelliez
Who doesn’t love jellybeans ? … Dentists, probably … Good dentists at least.
Today, the rest of us can enjoy the myriad of flavors ( from Crushed Pineapple to Tabasco ) and speckled swirling designs until we are sick or diabetic.
Its like eating a squishy marbles collection.
( Don’t eat marbles kids. And don’t play marbles with jellybeans, you’re going to lose. Also, your jelly beans will get dirty. Unless you are playing marbles in sterile lab conditions using robots. Dammit! Stop wasting my tax dollars you nutty scientists. ).
Invented by Dumbledore and cursed by Harry Potter to taste of earwax, jellybeans were wished nice again in 1861 by Boston confectionah ( and wizard ) William Schrafft. Thought to be based upon Turkish Delight ( made by Turkish wizards ) jellybeans mainly consist of sugar ( No? Really? ), corn syrup and pectin or starch which is then flavored with science or by Daniel Radcliffe ( Not available everywhere. )
Corn is a vegetable, of course, but the corn syrup component does not mean you can substitute jellybeans for one of you daily portions of fruit or vegetables. Nor should you start the day with a bowl of jellybeans although, to be fair, this would not be much different from some cereals.
Still, jellybeans are iconic childhood candy.
So, why not plan a day around their celebration?
Maybe organize a jellybean hunt for the kids, it’s better value than chocolate eggs.
Or raise money for charity by challenging your colleagues to guess how many jellybeans are contained in the pie you brought to work.
You can even transform your love life by dressing up as a jellybean ( old slang for a stylish young man dressing fancy to attract the ladies ). Soon you’ll be beating off suitors with a sweet tooth … but just the one tooth.
Or, if you like, you can celebrate Earth Day.
But, since Dirt flavor is now available, you can still do that with jellybeans