For a long time now, you have found yourself consistently needing cement. You needed it to plug up that hole in the basement floor that you made by jumping up and down too much and to create a sidewalk that now goes from your backyard, through the woods, and to the local McDonald’s. But now, you are recalling how you had to go to the store and buy cement for those projects, and you would like to be more self-sufficient when it comes to cement from now on. Well, great news! You may not have known this, but you can actually make your own cement!
But what is cement made of, you ask? You may be surprised to know this, but it is actually mostly limestone. So if you want to make your own cement, you will need the following:
- Full body mask
- A heat source
Once you have these ingredients together, you are ready to start the process of making your very own cement!
How to Make Cement – Shield Yourself
The first thing that you should keep in mind is that you are going to be working with some pretty dangerous chemical reactions. So the first thing you should do, before you attempt to make your own cement, is cover yourself up. Make some sort of a full body mask so that you are not actually touching the cement. You can buy one at the store, of course, but where’s the fun in that? Wasn’t the whole point of this entire endeavor to be more self-sufficient? What you really should do is make a full body mask out of whatever you want. You can use Saran Wrap, Play-Doh, broken glass, whatever’s around, really. The only thing you can’t use is cement, because you don’t have that yet!
How to Make Cement – Smash Up That Limestone!
You don’t really have to smash up your limestone, but a bunch of small pieces will heat up much more quickly than one huge rock. So go ahead and smash that baby up. This is your chance! You get to take out all of your frustrations on this limestone without actually causing destruction. So think of whatever is pi$$ing you off in the moment, whether it be your neighbor who keeps blasting his karaoke at 3 a.m. or that teacher who gave you an A- even after you had gone to the trouble to bake him brownies, and go to town on that limestone. You can use tools such as hatchets or sledgehammers, or maybe you’ll be so angry that you’ll be capable of wreaking havoc with your bare hands!
How to Make Cement – Some Like It Hot!
In order to create the limestone powder that you are going to need, you are going to have to heat up your rock to an incredibly high temperature. Ideally, it should be close to 1,000 degrees. Whatever you can do to create heat of this magnitude, go ahead and do. Whether it is creating a campfire, building your own kiln out of Play-Doh, or leaving it out in the hot sun and just hoping that the sun moves a little bit closer to the earth, go for it. Hey, people have been telling you that you look really hot lately. Maybe all you need to do is touch it with your finger (of course still wearing the full body mask) and watch it sizzle!
How to Make Cement – Water Makes Everything Better
Water really is a miracle substance. It may seem incredibly simple, but it is necessary in the making of so many things.
Now that you have heated up your limestone, you should have limestone powder. What you will need to do now is mix in water. If you want to get creative, you can add in other ingredients too. If you want colored cement, you can add in food coloring or the remainder of that oil paint from when you tried to make it as an artist. You can also add and flower petals, dog hair, or mildew from your bathtub. Just be aware that we are talking about chemical reactions here, and if you don’t know your chemistry when you are adding in these things, something disastrous could happen. But of course, it doesn’t matter because you don’t even care if it blows up in your face – literally. You just want your cement, made your way.
How to Make Cement – Use It Or Lose It!
Now that you have all of this cement, you need to use it right away. Or at least pretty soon. Because you know, the thing about cement is that it dries when it is exposed to the air. It’s both a blessing and a curse, really. It’s what makes cement so good at what it does, yet it makes it so that you don’t have a whole lot of time to just keep wet cement around like you’ve dreamed of doing your whole life. So go ahead and do whatever you want to do with it! Create a secret underground passageway that goes from your yard into your neighbor’s basement so that you can see what they have been hiding in there all these years. Make a new pair of shoes that will weigh you down and make it impossible for you to leave the house and spend too much money on more shoes. Slather yourself with it and see if it works as well as those other skin masks you have tried! Let your freak flag fly high!