How to Make Brown

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How To Make Brown, How To, Funny Articles, Funny Satire

Ah, the color brown… that special shade that can make you feel so good inside. After all, it’s the color of some of the most very best things in the world, like… teddy bears… hot cocoa… and ponies! And if those aren’t some incredibly cool things, we don’t know what is.

Now, when you’re ready to make some brown, you could just head down to your local art store and grab yourself a tube of brown paint, but that wouldn’t be very exciting, would it? And since you’re committed to leading the most fun lifestyle possible, we have a special how-to for you today. So come along with us as we learn how to make the bestest color in the whole wide world!

How to Make Brown – Accidentally cut your hand off while mowing your lawn

If you remember back to your grade school days, you’ll recall that green and red make brown. Of course, we’ll need a little liquid to wet our dye, but we’ve got that covered perfectly with this one. Simply mow your lawn (or your neighbor’s lawn if you don’t have one), and then fall down. It’s that simple! All that beautiful red blood will mix with the freshly cut grass to make a shade of brown that’s just to die for. Plus, you’ll get to show off your masterpiece color creation to everyone at the hospital!

How to Make Brown – Go to the bathroom

You can’t ever, not in a million years, pass up the chance to include poop when talking about all things brown. Beyond all the embarrassment that some people have about the subject, it really is just a fact of life. And we love us some life! Come to find out, one particularly interesting fact about life is that when you have it, you also have an unlimited source of brown. All you need do is eat your favorite meal and wait. Then, jump right on your porcelain throne and let the good times roll! It doesn’t get any browner than this.

How to Make Brown – Shave your brunette-haired friend’s head while they sleep

Being the ever popular person that you are, you probably have a ton of friends. And some of them probably even have brown hair. In this case, we’ll also need a glass of water to properly make our brown pigment and get it appropriately wet. Once you’ve got that item, grab your buzzers, wait for your friend to fall asleep, and then get to shaving! Make sure you don’t leave trace of hair left on their head, opting to take all that wonderful brown for yourself. Then, mix it all in a glass of water. Presto, change… brown!

How to Make Brown – Smash ladybugs with melted green crayons

When you were young, there’s a good chance that you did some naughty things in your time. Squashing ants and beetles, letting off fireworks, burning down the entire school on accident. Ah, those were better days. But one thing you may have discovered in your youth was that there is one excellent way to make some brown. Catch all the ladybugs you can find and get smashing! Then take your favorite color green crayon and melt it down. Mix the two and you have a lovely shade of the most enchanting color in the world!

How to Make Brown – Mix all the food in your refrigerator together

When you were a kid, you probably also learned that mixing all the colors together often resulted in a muddy looking brown. Well, we’ve borrowed this idea, but with a special twist. Clean out your fridge and set all the items on your counter. From ketchup to salami and salad dressing to potato chips, get grinding, crushing, mushing, and mixing. The conclusion will be a brown that’s so sweet, but also incredibly, incredibly tasty at the same time. Take a taste and even invite your friends over to enjoy your brown!