Household Uses For Ethanol

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Household Uses For Ethanol, Ways to Use Ethanol, Ethanol Uses, DIY, Satire

 

Ever have one of those days where you wake up and kinda forgot to clean the house, for say, about 6 months? Well, sure. We’ve all been there. I mean time flies, right? We get so busy that we do happen to forget that trash needs to be taken out, or floors swept. After about 6 months, people begin to notice a slight difference in your home or apartment. That bag of Cheetos which once looked so inviting and tasty, is now a green mass of damp mold and mildew. It’s at this point where you need to tidy up just a bit. There are many cleaning products on the market. However, if you want to save time and money, as well consider heading off to the local dollar store, and picking up some common, everyday rubbing alcohol of the ethanol variety.

Tick Removal

You know, when you forget to sweep a floor for 6 months, you might find that a tick or two has decided to made a nest in your toe. In such cases, ethanol is the perfect solution. These little buggers just love to dig in deep, burrow right down into your flesh, as it were, biting and sucking out your blood, their bellies swelling to the brim with your life giving juices. To be rid of ticks, just use a little ethanol. As a result, be prepared to do a little picking and poking. Simply take some rubbing alcohol, dowse the little bugger, and work to dislodge it from your toe using your sister’s eyebrow tweezers. It’s important to use your sister’s eyebrow tweezers, as this will irritate her no end, and we all need that extra bit of joy in our lives.

All-Purpose Stain Remover

Indeed, when one accidentally forgets to mop the bathroom floor for about 6 months or so, there may be a bit of mold, dirt and grime build up. Never fear, ethanol is here! Your little buddy in a bottle, is right there when you need him. Simply put a bit of ethanol on a rag and wash and buff your counter tops, bathroom tile and faucets, until they shine just like new. Always remember to use a new rag or sponge for these clean up jobs. I know it is tempting to simply reach down into the hamper and yank out a pair of used underwear for a rag, but we caution against this. First of all, it is not professional. Secondly, it may cause streaking. At this point in time, it may be beneficial to lift the lid on that toilet bowl, and take a real good hard look inside. If it is slightly encrusted, you might want to pour a bit of rubbing alcohol down in there, as it is an excellent destroyer of germs and the odors they cause.

Sneaker Deodorizer

After a hard day digging through mountains of filth and debris, there might be a small chance that your sneakers would have picked up a bit of stink. This is natural and to be expected. However, no one wants their feet to smell of cheese. Fortunately for you, ethanol is an excellent de-stinker of sneakers. Simply spritz some rubbing alcohol on the inside and outside of your sneaker, and go place outside for a good, solid air out. After a few hours, we guarantee that your feet will smell more like feet, and a lot less like blue cheese. For tough odors, it is often recommended that you try to increase the amount of ethanol.

General Cleanser

For those of you who have ventured into the dark recesses of corners and behind cupboards, the odd chance that one finds the body of a dead and rotting rodent on the increase. How good it is to know, that rubbing alcohol is not just a cheap and tawdry replacement for Formula 409, but indeed, is a strong little soldier that can hold its own in the face of filth. Simply reach down and grab the decaying rodent, bag it, and proceed to clean the area with ethanol. After which, you’ll be sure to find that the area will become shiny and germ free. Remember, when you forget to sweep for 6 months, the probability for finding dead and rotting things in your home increases approximately 45 percent. Indeed, not only dead rodents, but the occasional decaying body of a traveling salesmen who tried to escape the filth, but got lost along the way, his body decomposing in a pile of last years National Geographics. In such cases, it is wise to have an armory filled with that sparkly little soldier, ethanol.

Ethanol can be used for anything from fuel to rubbing alcohol. Indeed, this corn fed gem of combustible joy even has a place in your kitchen cupboard. Not only can this solution start your car, but can also handle some odd jobs. The examples we’ve provided for you today are guaranteed to make your everyday life easier and less expensive, so feel free to put your feet up, relax and in another six months or so, give it all another go.

 

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