It seems like X got totally cheated in the word department. Most of the words you’d think should start with X actually start with E. It’s like E is the monkey on the back of X. It probably has to do with the way you pronounce X. Phonetically, it’s “ecks.” So E got his little foot in the door right away, and now X is preempted by E nine times out of ten.
To add insult to injury, the words that do start with X are pronounced with a “z” sound. Frankly, we don’t even need X in our alphabet, but we’re keeping it there as some sort of token pity gesture.
1. Xenodocheionology
This refers to a love of hotels. If hotel managers knew this word, they’d probably post it inside every hotel room. Unfortunately, xenodocheionology has a bit of a germy-squirmy sound to it. Guests might think they need to be on the lookout for bed bugs.
2. Xerocopy
Did you know this is the real word for “photocopy”? You can’t use it, though. If you do, you’ll sound like a really old person, or someone who time traveled here from 1970. These days, you’re lucky if you can get away with using Xerox because even that is outdated now.
3. Xyster
A xyster is a tool that surgeons use to scrape bones. Ew. If you’re at the doctor’s office and you see a box labeled “xysters,” run for it.
4. Xanax
I’m not sure what this word is. Honestly, no idea. Could I get a glass of water, please? All these questions are giving me anxiety.
5. Xerxes
This was the name of a former king of Persia. He must have been a lot like Prince. Didn’t want people to be able to pronounce his name.
6. Xiphoid
A xiphoid is something that is like a sword or shaped like a sword. People said this to Xerxes all the time: “Is that a xiphoid under your robes or are you just happy to see me?”
7. Xylology
Next time you’re at a college bar and some bozo asks what your major is, tell them it’s xylology. Watch them squirm. Condescendingly explain to them that xylology is the study of wood. Now watch them walk away.
8. Xography
Apparently, xography is the name of the photographic process used to create three-dimensional pictures. A hundred bucks says no one at Disney knows what this word means. Yet, they won’t stop making Jungle Book sequel movies with it. The world is a strange place.