College is supposed to be the best years of your life. It’s a good in-between time to explore, party, have fun, and yeah, maybe learn a little, too. We’re older than teenagers, but we’re not quite adults. That means we have some responsibility (we’re looking at you, homework), but nothing so crazy as paying bills or worrying about mortgages (thanks, Mom and Dad!). It’s a great time to be alive!
If you’re in college, you may want to do something more than just party and go to class. You may want the ultimate college experience; joining a sorority. Congrats! You have four years of epic fun ahead of you. One of the most fun things you can do as part of a sorority is rushing. No, we’re not talking about rushing to get your homework done so you can binge-watch Game of Thrones all night. We mean sorority rushing.
Still confused? That’s okay. Check out our handy “do’s” and “don’ts” for rushing a sorority. On your mark, Monkey Picklers, get set, go!
DON’T Wait to Become Their New Best Friend
Rushing is a recruitment process. That means you’ll be competing with several other girls for the spot. How can you make yourself stand out and prove you’re the best? There are so many ways. Why not bake cookies? Seriously. Everyone loves cookies. You roommate will adore you. Everyone in your dorm will line up outside your door. The whole sorority will accept you as their own. Cookies are seriously magical stuff.
You should also become best friends forever with the sorority sisters. Sleep on the floor of their dorm if it’ll help. Walk with them to classes, even if you don’t have the same classes. The classes they take seem to be better anyway. They’re definitely more interesting than English 101. Wow, you’re really learning so much in college and you haven’t even completed your first semester yet.
Oh, and make sure you get in touch with the sorority sisters on social media. Poke them dozens of times per hour on Facebook. Everybody loves being poked. It seriously makes their day.
DO Destroy Stuff
As you go through the rush process, you may be asked to pull various pranks on school staff and maybe even your other competitors. Fun! Who doesn’t love a good prank every now and again, like plastic wrap in an entryway, mayonnaise for toothpaste, and whoopee cushions?
However, when you really think about it, those pranks are harmless. And really, they’re kind of boring. Yeah, seeing someone get stuck in plastic wrap or sit on a whoopee cushion is funny, but you know what’s even more funny? Destroying stuff! Especially if that stuff is school property. Sneak around campus at night and create a path of destruction. Change signs around campus to spell out dirty or funny words. Replace artwork with pictures of kittens. You know, that kind of stuff.
DO Let Your Enthusiasm Shine!
You’re excited to be here! You love everything about the college experience, from the parties to campus to the extracurricular activities to the food…okay, maybe the food leaves something to be desired, but you’re really, really happy to be here. In fact, your bubbly attitude sometimes scares away other students. But that’s okay. They just can’t handle your positivity. They’re clearly too down in the dumps to appreciate you. Maybe they miss their parents? Maybe they need a care package?
Anyway, when competing in rush events, always be the loudest, happiest one. Wear bright colors, do zany things, and then watch as you become the next sorority sister. Who said that positivity is contagious? It is. It definitely is.
DON’T Let Rejection Bring You Down
When the sorority makes its decision about which sister it’s going to pick, you of course know it’s going to be you. However, if we’re living in some other alternate, multidimensional, sad universe in which this doesn’t happen, that’s okay. Just keep hanging around the sorority anyway. Attend the meetings, hang out with your sisters, and wear your sorority’s colors with pride! Everywhere you go. All the time. Even in the shower. Never take that t-shirt off.
Eventually, the sisters will realize they chose the wrong girl and pick you, or they’ll forget they didn’t pick you and you’ll just be made an honorary member. See? It’s a win-win. The best way to deal with rejection is to pretend it never happened.