Work can be so exciting that it can be hard to find activities that measure up to the experience of being at work. This is especially true if you have a job where you have to deal with people all day, such as a customer service job, or working in the complaints department of a cable company. But here are some ways that you can make your off-hours just as interesting as your work time.
1. Pretend To Re-Shingle Your Roof
If you have a situation where your spouse is always pestering you about not doing enough around the house, surprise him or her one day after work by explaining that you’re going to re-shingle the roof. Grab some random tools and climb on up there. Once you’re up, immediately start throwing stuff back down, like used asphalt shingles and nails. Be sure to drop a tool off the edge and curse loudly. Make a big mess in the yard. Use a hammer to bang on chimneys or ventilation pipes that look like they would be noisy.
If you’ve done this correctly, your spouse should be standing in the yard begging you to come back down to safety and let the pros handle it. Argue a little, but not too much. When you give in and climb back down the ladder, pretend to slip a little and almost fall to really drive home the point that you’re incapable of doing any sort of manual labor.
2. Save A Pet’s Life
Earn yourself the Parent of the Year award tonight after work. This fun activity will work best if you have a cat or dog, plus one other small pet. Sneak into your kid’s room and take the gerbil/bird/hamster out of the tank/cage/ball. Go in the bathroom and drizzle a little water on the tiny critter. (It probably needs a bath anyway.) Now walk into the living room where everyone’s watching some made-for-TV movie. Hold up the gerbil/bird/hamster and announce that you just retrieved it from Fido’s mouth, where it was about to be swallowed!
When everyone gathers round and gives you hugs, bask in the gratitude. Then quickly snag the remote and make yourself comfortable on the sofa while everyone is cooing over the frightened pet.
3. Hold A Seance
Nothing makes an evening after work more fun than bringing the dead back to life! On your way home from the office, stop off and pick up your seance supplies. You’ll need:
- Candles (a lot of them)
- Strings of beads (to hang around the room for atmosphere)
- Incense (duh)
- Beer (to coerce your neighbors to join in)
At home, set up a table with the candles lit in the middle. Decorate with the beads and light the incense. Call the neighbors and have them stop by, supposedly for a friendly beer.
After the neighbors have had a few cold ones, spring the seance idea on them. Turn out the lights and join hands. Have everyone close their eyes and mumble some stuff about a relative or friend who has passed over into the next realm. Sway a little in your seat and throw your head back.
Don’t worry about a dead person actually speaking. One of your neighbors will assuredly be secretly eager to supply a fake ghost voice when no one’s looking. Or is it fake?