The holidays are coming up, and that means gift giving, unless you’re Amish or something. I have no idea what those people do. I could speculate, it’s not like they’d be on the internet getting offended if I got it wrong, but we’ll have all next year to speculate and hypothesize on the gift giving rituals of the Amish. Today we’re here to talk about gift giving etiquette for normal people like you and me. Here’s everything you need to know:
Make Sure To Ask The Recipient’s Religion Before Handing The Gift Over
Nothing is more embarrassing than buying a Christmas gift for someone only to find out that they are from the Canadian faith, and celebrate not Christmas, but Boxing Day! In such case you would give them not a gift, but an empty box. We live in a multicultural… uh… culture, and it’s rude to simply assume that everyone out there shares your views. Remember that, for instance, Jewish people believe that Santa Claus is a good and generous man, but they do not agree that he could visit that many houses in a single night.
Attaching A Brick To A Gift And Throwing It Through A Window Is Frowned On In Most Circles
Some people have their own unique traditions within their family. Maybe you open one gift on Christmas Eve and save the rest for morning. Maybe you celebrate Christmas a day early with your extended family, and celebrate Christmas morning with the wife and kids. Some of us grew up throwing bricks through windows, but most of us didn’t. Knock on the door or simply leave the gift on the front step.
Muslims Probably Aren’t Allowed To Each Cheese
I’m guessing. That seems like something they wouldn’t be allowed to do, right? Anyways if you buy a Muslim friend one of those sausage packages, make sure to take all the cheese out of it, I think.
If You Don’t Get A Thank You Card, Send A Sarcastic “YOU’RE WELCOME!” Card
When you need to shame someone into showing a little bit of ****ing gratitude, this is just the thing!
Make Sure Your Friends And Family Don’t Know When You Buy Duplicates On Purpose
Buying a toaster oven just like the one your mom already owns so that you can keep it for yourself? Make absolutely sure she doesn’t know. Do not use the toaster oven or bring it up in conversation when you visit. You need to really sell the surprise when she opens up your brand new toaster oven for you.
Gift giving etiquette may change from generation to generation, but all the important stuff stays about the same. I think. Actually I wouldn’t know, I haven’t bought anyone a gift in years and I’m not sure why my editor thought I’d be the guy to handle this assignment.