Funny Jokes

Funny Jokes

Funny jokes about anything and everything. Come back daily for the Joke Of The Day!

alligator

So I was outside of a bar smoking a cigarette…

And I see this man walking an alligator on a leash and harness. As he approaches the bar to enter, the bouncer stops him and says "Hey man, are you serious? You can't bring...
Pineapple Beach

Three guys are stranded on an island…

Three guys crash land on an island. Immediately they are captured by the indigenous tribal people. It becomes clear that these people are cannibals. The men beg for their lives, as anyone would. Through...
Hospital bed

The Will

Funny Joke of the Day Doug Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near. His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him. He asks for 2 witnesses to be...
statue, funny, joke

A Woman Was In Bed With Her Lover When…

...she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry!" she said. "Stand in the corner." She quickly rubbed baby oil all over her lover and then she dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I...
chalkboard

The Teacher gives Johnny a simple math problem…

Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and...
Elderly Couple

An Elderly Couple Noticed They Are Getting More Forgetful…

There was an elderly couple who in their old age noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor. The doctor told them that they should...
Woman drinking at bar

A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down.

He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings." The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be...
medical specimen jar

An 85-Year-Old Man Was Requested By His Doctor…

... for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the...
Monkey in a Tree

A Monkey Was In A Tree Smoking Weed…

A monkey was in a tree smoking weed... A lizard, walking by, looked up and saw him. "Yo, Monkey," said the lizard, "what are you doing up there?" The monkey looked down and answered him. "I'm...
puzzle pieces

A Blonde Calls Her Boyfriend And Says…

A Blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it...