The Tonsillectomy (Part 1)
After they filled her IV with “sleepy drugs”,
and wheeled her away . .
I paid a visit to the tiny little coffee shop, located in the lobby of the medical center.
I ordered a nonfat latte – LARGE (and, they actually called it “large”),
because I anticipated a long wait.
Hmmm, and something to eat.
What I really wanted
was one of those golden-brown, flaky, buttery croissants
(staring at me through the glass case),
but it was January 2nd
and, though I am not a believer of New Year’s resolutions,
I could feel the results of all of the holiday partying
pressing up against (and spilling over) my jeans,
so . . .
I grabbed a banana, instead.
I found a nice, intimate, light-filled window seat, and settled in.
One sip, however, and . . .
My “latte” tasted more like a cup of warm, nonfat milk infused in flavorless coffee.
But, it was all I had, and I needed my caffeine.
Unfortunately, about a quarter of the way through,
my stomach was not very happy with me.
I could see the local headlines:
“While waiting for her daughter’s tonsillectomy, mother dies of food poisoning
caused by hospital coffee. Daughter is extremely sore, and wishing for her tonsils back, but is expected to make a full recovery.”
Fortunately (after a few trips to the bathroom), the episode passed,
and aside from the unfortunate experience with abrasive hospital toilet paper,
I survived, unscathed.
My daughter, on the other hand, has been reduced to sucking on ice chips,
and unsuccessfully satisfying her hunger (not to mention, self induced torture)
by watching Food Porn.
She was most recently quoted as saying (via text message):
“This was the worst thing that I have ever experienced.
Can I PLEASE have my tonsils back??!!”