This works to Ziggy Stardust by David Bowie. So push play on video and read the “new lyrics below”
Monkey tends the bar,
dressed up but with no poo to throw…
The ciders were Pa’s
He displayed them as canned
Insane cocktail plans
Mixed up with cats & jams
Wearing medical bands
Wooed orangutans,
Lubed up thighs
& spoke in Urdu
From a flat in Japan
They could pick up his ironing
Or dine on meringue
Bring on the midgets man
A bung & the Snow White clan
Getting bare with some spiders
Not sure why but wanting oars
Just the mere sight of spiders
So we hitched ‘em to the van
And “mushed” ‘em along sweet sands
Yeah
Splashing the shoreline
Driving the tarantulas cuckoo
It was too much mass
He wet his ass
Let out some gas
But he took it all too far
In the cab with a floater
Making love with his lego
Little bricks up his **hind
Like a leather pariah
When the arachnids left the van
He had to wade back to land.
Oh yeah
Oooooooo
In panties & a bra – ah.
I reckon that is 20 minutes well spent. My version certainly has more spiders in it 
)
